Dear Reader,
Have you ever noticed that there are those in the world that have known what they wanted to be from the time they were old enough to speak? Let's just say, I'm not one of them. I remember friends in school that would tell me from an early age, "I want to be an architect." or, "I want to be an engineer." or stranger still, "I want to be an accountant." Who makes this decision consciously? (It isn't like signing up to be a fashion designer, or a rock star, or a model.) Even now, I don't get it.
And what's really shocking here is that I've been a corporate accountant now for almost half of my life, and at no time did I ever imagine that this was what I was put here on the planet to do. It never even occurred to me.
I'd always felt like my boat was missing a compass or something. I mean, there are those people who know with absolute unfailing certainty where they are going, and here I am just drifting along with the tide. It's been rather disheartening.
Even back in business school I could never have told you that accounting or business were my "calling"; mostly I fell into it. But that's sort of how life is sometimes. Very often we just take the path that's lain before us and we move down it; not asking too many questions and just being grateful we can pay our mortgage, put food on the table and buy the cute boots we spotted at the mall. All the while though, not feeling all that satisfied with the course our path has taken. And at times, imagining what it might be like to jump off of the path altogether, and become... a flamingo dancer, or a traipse artist with the circus.
But those people that you meet, the ones that just know what they want out of life, what they expect... I've never understood that level or degree of certainty about anything! Where did they get this from? Especially as it relates to performing a particular function in the world until they die... or at least in my case, until I retire; and considering my Social Security retirement age, it might as well be the same thing. But let's be honest, no matter how you look at it, that's a hell of a long time.
Odd, but I couldn't even have told you until just a few years ago where my true passion lay. I'd always been one to lose myself in my own daydreams (Mostly as an adult it was to forget about things like spreadsheets and financials.), but it never occurred to me to put these daydreams down on paper.
It's amazing to me now. I mean, I have a Master's Degree for heaven's sake. You'd think that I might have had my light-bulb moment a while ago. It would have been nice if it had dawned on me well before it did, and it could have saved me a good deal of angst over the years wondering what was wrong with me, and why I was the only person I knew over the age of maturity that didn't know what they wanted to be when they grew up. But as soon as I figured out the whole words-on-paper thing (sitting here shaking my head in disgust), suddenly it all made a lot more sense.
So here I am several years later, feeling pretty secure that this really was the answer to the question I've asking myself for several decades.
"What do I want to be when I grow up?" and the answer, a novelist.
I have to admit, I thoroughly enjoy the time I spend working with my stories, and completely submersing myself in them. And I hope you enjoy reading the stories as much as I enjoyed writing them.
All my thanks for stopping by,
C. L. Hartley
PS: Can you even begin to imagine how much it would suck to find out that I'd gotten it all wrong, and that calculator tape and mechanical pencils were the only dimly lit light at the end of my tunnel? I don't even want to think about it.